How can I help a person with a drug addiction who is not willing to help themselves?

Ziggy
#1. February 7th, 2009, at 11:28 PM.

Go (alone at first) to a counselor and seek some answers to your questions. Any certified counselor should be able to give you some concrete skills to deal with this horrible situation with your mother. Good luck.

nethershire
#2. February 11th, 2009, at 5:45 AM.

go see your g.p or phone frank

Ellis Wyatt
#3. February 12th, 2009, at 4:35 PM.

Take your children and get as far away from her as possible. Break off all contact and get on with your life. It sucks, but that’s the only thing you can do. Otherwise, she will continue to drag you and your children down with her.

TAT
#4. February 14th, 2009, at 8:06 AM.

This is going to sound harsh but you cannot help her. You are powerless of her drug addiction. You can set boundaries that keep you safe such as not being around her when she is messed up. The state of VA is not horrible. It is the law everywhere. You cannot force someone to get help. If she is currently suicidal or homicidal, they can detain her for a short period of time. The only way she can be made is if she is arrested and treatment is part of the sentencing. Find an Alanon meeting. You need help to keep your sanity through all of this.

nessieloseslake
#5. February 15th, 2009, at 7:56 AM.

I need to be completely honest with you here: you absolutely cannot help anyone who doesn’t want to help themselves.

I know this is not the answer you wanted to hear. However, this is the ultimate truth. What you can do is continually talk to your mother. Encourage her to want to help herself. Tell her about her grandchildren and the effects her behavior is having on them. Tell her about the effects it’s having on you. You must try and convince her, motivate her to want to get better.

However, this is all you can do. Let her know if she wants to get better, you’ll be there for her. I know this may be too hard, but you could also offer her an alternative: get help or you and her grandchildren are out of her life. If she truly loves you, she won’t let this happen. If it’s too hard for you to do, then simply keep encouraging her. (But remember, sometimes tough love is better, especially when dealing with addicts). I also don’t think it’s advisable your children spend too much time with her if she’s on these serious drugs you say she’s on.

I know you want to help her. But first, you have to make her want to help herself. Good luck and you’re in my prayers!

sctag1015
#6. February 16th, 2009, at 1:37 PM.

Unpleasant though it may be, both police and healthcare/rehab workers cannot force someone into treatment, particularly based solely on the word of another person. You do have a few options open to you. You can talk with a professional counselor in the area yourself (as another answerer has suggested), you can continue to attempt to persuade her to receive treatment, you can call the police to have her arrested for illegal drug use, or you can get yourself out of the situation entirely.

None of these options can ensure that she will receive proper treatment and rehab, but it’s most likely if you can either persuade her to accompany you to a therapist, or if she’s formally charged with possession and use. Continuing to badger her on the subject will likely make her more adamant in refusing treatment, and will result in more stress for you. While it’s certainly not pleasant to think of putting your mother in prison, it will result in treatment for addiction and eligibility for community reintegration rehabilitation programs, such as Dismas Charities.

taz103066
#7. February 19th, 2009, at 11:57 AM.

Only option you may have is to have her commited to an institution for mental issues, and thats not going to be easy either. First step in this is to get her to a doctor maybe under pretenses that shes going to get more drugs, then go from there. Only a doctor can have her commited, and thats going to take time as well.

jaejae
#8. February 19th, 2009, at 6:25 PM.

Check your state statutes. Here in Florida we have the Marchman Act for drug addiction and the Baker Act for mental illness.