Can I Have Some Opinions on My Current Station in Life?

Question by Danielle: Can I have some opinions on my current station in life?
This might be rather long, but I just want to be clear with everything.

My husband and I have been together for about 8 years, married 2. We have a beautiful 4 year old son, as well as one on the way.

Before our son was born, we used to be best friends (inseparable, actually), but when I got pregnant it all changed. He became very addicted to liquor, and was using speed. One night he became violent, even though I was pregnant, and my friend (who was stopping by to visit) busted the front door down and stopped him, and took me to her house. Unfortunately, I took him back. This is my fault, but I base it on the fact that I grew up without a father, and this really affected me all throughout my life. I figured that he would own up to what he had become and change. I was wrong. To this day he says that it never happened, although he also says he remembers nothing from that night.
To try to get us out of the crap hole apartment we lived in, I took on a job. Although his lisence was suspended, he would constantly take my car out to work, and wherever he wanted. One day he got into a very minor traffic accident, and this caused me to get fired from my job. I would also like to add that one night when I was working; his work had called him in early. Instead of calling me to come home and watch our newborn son, he leaves him with the crackhead across the hall for two hours, without contacting me about this whatsoever. So imagine walking in to your home, with your newborn missing and your husband no where to be found. Yea… I was very unhappy. He denies that all of this happened as well. So, instead I got into college, and decided to do the online classes since he sabatoged my vehicle all the time. Instead of watching our son for me to do my homework, and hell, shower, he instead drinks a 24 pack of beer every night and passed out on the couch. I was up pretty much about 19 or 20 hours a day, sometimes I didn’t go to bed at all. He saw no problem with this, and never offered to help me.

This went on for YEARS. I wasn’t eating because I was so depressed; I got down to about 90 pounds and I am 5’5′ but petite. Last time I weighed that much I was in elementary school. If I got to sleep it was only for a couple of hours. Not to mention that I was literally stuck at home 7 days a week. I never got to go to the grocery store, or anything like that. We didn’t eat out or see a movie… nothing.

So when he got fired from his job again ( he had no diploma or GED mind you), I snapped.I told him that if he didn’t do something with his life, that I was not going to stick around for it, and neither was our son. I told him to either get into college and get a good sustainable job, or join the military. I tried to help him by suggesting maybe the carpenters or electricians union. He instead went into the army.

I was scared, and pissed off to tell you the truth. We are in a war. He should have discussed it a bit with me before he went behind my back and did the things to join up….without saying anything. You’d think things would get better, but it has not. It’s now worse because on top of all this, he has this “im better than you” macho attitude. I get drug almost a thousand miles away from my family and friends, for him to do the same things to me.

I wanted to throw a cookout to try to make some friends. What does he do? Gets biligerently drunk and traps me in a room screaming at me and starts punching the wall literally two centimeters from my head. A person I barely knew tried to see if everything was okay, and my husband threw him down the stairs. So yea. I didn’t make any friends. He got arrested that night and ordered to stay out of the house for 3 days. You bet he sucked up. Even though he wasnt supposed to come home he did.

I told him to stop drinking. He promised he wouldnt anymore and was ordered to go into the alcohol and substance abuse program. That was four or five months ago and just today he went to meet with some person.

He drinks behind my back even though he is in ASAP. No one stops him, not even his higher ups that are supposed to monitor and enforce his progress in the program. I certainly can’t stop him. One night I left the house because he drank when I wasnt supposed to and I came home with my son to a vomit covered floor and on the dogs kennel, furniture thrown, broken glass everywhere and someone had actually urinated on my floor. I later find out that his seargent was present when he did all this. He never got in trouble… his seargent actually got him out of PT the next morning because he woke up in another person’s house with a hangover.

I was planning on getting separated possibly divorced from him, and moving back home. I had taken out a loan from school to do just that. I had a lot of issue going on… I have a pinched nerve in my neck and had xrays and mris done. I was taking the prescription arthrotec (it has misoprosone in it, the medicine that causes abortions in

Best answer:

Answer by rissy k
i know how hard it is to leave. u are always holding onto that one thread of what u want him to be-though he isnt.

do what u have planned.get a divorce.

i know it will take sometime ( but not too much mind you) there will be a light at the end of this shit and a new man to really love you. since the meds u are on might cause u to abort ur baby–decide if YOU want to stop taking them.

in divorce court use everything u can against him including witnesses so u can get full custody of your children. u need to look healthy in court so get healthy.

be optimistic. think positive. everything happens for a reason–a good reason.

at least u have ur babies and love them unconditionally. (i mean ur son and the unborn as well)

good luck with everything. it wil; be okay

you ARE making the right decision.

Answer by ZaxNeon
You need to get help from an organization that helps women in abusive relationships. Look up “Social Services Organizations” in the phone book, and there will be something like “Domestic Violence Intervention”. Call them, and let them know what is happening. The local police department can also help you get in touch with the appropriate help if you cannot find it in the phone book. Do it right now, don’t wait.

Find More Drug Intervention Information…