Drug Intervention: Are These “dumb” Reasons Not to Want Children?
Question by elledriver80: Are these “dumb” reasons not to want children?
Hello,
I am in my late 20′s, college educated, all that good stuff. I have always said I didn’t want kids, I never been in a “real” relationship. Sometimes I want children, sometimes I don’t. The real reasons I say I don’t want kids are 3 reasons: because I’m scared of how the kid will turn out. I watch that show “intervention” and feel so sorry for those parents, they look so tired! What if my kid turned out to be a dead beat drug addict? The second reason is I never been around many kids so I don’t know if I would be a good parent and the last reason is (as bad as it sounds) I can’t see myself being responsible for someone for 18 years and beyond, it’s just too long. I told my female friend who is a single mom with 2 kids and she said they are “dumb” reasons not to have kids. She said when I find the right man thoughts will change but I don’t think so. I would like to know what parents think because I’m trying to figure things out for my life as I search for a serious partner. TY.
* I just look at people with crying babies, etc. and think “I could not handle that.” LOL.
Best answer:
Answer by lovin life
I think they are very real reasons. You may change your mind, you may not. Parenting is hard job. I am glad to hear you are really thinking beyond the adorable baby dress up stage!! I am a parent and love my children immensely, but I always joke with my sister that has no children that being a parent is overrated!!
What do you think? Answer below!
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Only u can determine if this is for u. I personally have always loved other ppls children. I never imagined I would have my own. I have a 10mth old & I love her more than life itself. This scares some ppl. If/when u meet the right guy one of two things can happen;1) He can see things ur way 2) He will change ur mind totally.
Just live & see what happens. Dont have inhibitions. Life is too short.
NEVER SAY NEVER
They seem like very real reasons.
You should wait until you feel like everything in your life is ok, and you will have time to raise a child.
I’m 22 and my daughter is 3 I think your friend is right you will change your mind when you meet someone when I met my husband I was a single mom my daughter is adopted and I didn’t think he was going to want to stick around I was wrong. he fell in love with our daughter and me and we are now trying to have more kids. don’t kid your self and don’t jump to conclusions if you find someone you will change your mind.
Your choice to have kids or not is up to you and you future partner, don’t mind what your friends say. If you want to have kids then have kids and no they are no stupid reasons…..yes no one every wants to have a bad kid but if you raise then right then that is the best you could do what they do as a adult is their choice, and once you have a child your fear of not being able to care for someone that long will disappear for a love that you can not explain, if you feel you are not ready don’t rush it. Make the right choice for you!!
There is no such thing as a “dumb” reason to not have kids.
But there are plenty of dumb reasons why people do have kids.
Unfortunately, a lot people have kids for dumb reasons. Don’t become like them, if you don’t want kids, for ANY reason, then don’t have them.
Tell your friend to shove it, my kids have too many friends that have inept parents. If only they hadn’t had children when they knew that they shouldn’t have then those kids wouldn’t have to suffer with idiots as parents.
The decision to have children is your business, but just for the record, the things you mentioned most parents worry about. I certainly occasionally worry that i’m going to screw my child up somehow, your concerns are legitimate.
No, I don’t think those are dumb reasons at all! Every parent worries about all of those things at some point in their life. It’s normal to be scared about parenthood. I don’t think you should listen to this friend of yours. If you don’t want kids, don’t have kids. It won’t make you less of a person.
You sound to me like you are doing the right thing for you. There is no law that says you have to have kids and if more people thought the way you do and actually thought about it before they got pregnant , there would be a lot less abused , neglected kids around. If and when you find the right person for you things may change. I had both of my children before I was even 21 yrs old . I love them both very much but was not really ready for kids. Being responsible for kids takes a lot out of you. As far as how they turn out, That all depends on how you bring them up. Good morals and values are very important. Education is important.Tell your single mom ther are no dumb reasons only dumb answers.
*I* don’t think they are dumb. Here were my reasons
1) I didn’t have a good role model growing up, my mom abused me and neglected my brother.
2) I already raised my brother and it was hard enough doing that for six years, i didn’t want to do it again
I did meet a guy, and I did decide to have a baby with him (in fact we have seven now lol!) It turns out that because of the abuse and neglect, we were mindful enough to turn into really GREAT parents (my brother and i) And in the end, every one who has a baby will figure out a way that works for them, so the responsibility and parenting will be individual and you’ll figure it out. If they are resourceful and wise, they’ll plan on their parenting BEFORE the baby is born and find support for that style (I suggest API dot com), but in the end, they’ll be flexible enough to say, you know, this isn’t working for me, know I’m going to try x, y, or z.
Maybe your mind will change, maybe it won’t. I think every person has to choose what path they will follow, no one can legislate it for them. And those intervention shows are soo edited. Some people have sucky lives, most of them have created that situation themselves. Don’t buy into it!!!
Whatever you choose, may your path be bright and true to your Self.
for one thing thank you for being so honest with yourself. if you do not feel that you could rear kids at the moment and if you fear the outcomes then you shouldnt be a parent yet. there may come a time in your life when you may feel ready, then and only then should you change your mind.
look in my opinion, you are entitled to the way you think and feel and really the only person who can make the desicion is you.
go with what you feel and please dont be pressured into anything you dont want.
I don’t think those are “dumb” reasons, you just don’t know what to expect. I was the same way and I had my son 2 months after my 21st birthday. I was definitly afraid because I was single and on my own and I didn’t think I could handle it. When I was young I always said I would NEVER have kids. Now, 5 years later, I couldn’t imagine my life without my son and can’t remember a happier time in my life. It is awesome having someone look to you for answers and to show them the way. I have no fear that my son will end up to be a horrible person, he knows everyday that he is loved and respected and has no reason to find negetives in life. So to recap, I belive you just have a typical fear of the unkown.
Borat like!
blonds…..
@rmurrayfrith
why is opiates the only narcotic?
LSD has never been proven to have caused a human or animal death. Mushrooms, marijuana, and LSD are nothing like cocaine, heroin, or crack. All of the substances you mention are completely different and have different effects. Your studies and statistics can be and are used to prove anything people want them to prove.
@BRUMARTUBE You’re right. Prohibition didn’t work for alcohol and it’s not working for illegal substances. Legalisation works in other countries, so what’s the government afraid of?
E and her!!! WOOOOW!!!
She sounds really fucking stupid. -_-
Im sry but that wasnt quite right. narcotics are opium. the other substances you talked about fall in other categories. You should mention that you are onley talking about illegal drugs because there are a lot more dangerous drugs out there to buy legaly. Another thing that bothers me is that you put Weed into the same Category as Cocaine. Marijuana is used to heal ppl and is not dangerous for adults. If you mention sideeffects, pin them to a drug. Coz saying drugs kill is false.
bet this chick slams brews every weekend.
anyone who uses drugs other than medical marijuana is an idiot
Very one sided.
they should at least throw some porno music in the background to make it interesting… bom chicka baow baow booomm bah bow bow chicka bowww
To put weed in the same list than crack and meth is criminal. That show is cute but dangerous.
Legalize weed, shrooms and keep salvia legal, because there are no complains.
Legalize the dangerous one too, because once illegal the market is in the hands of bandits who target the kids. Legalize all drugs ’cause prohibition is more harmful than any drug.
im not from america and this is boring. tell facts about drug
That girl don’t know much about the subject, but at least she’s trying to look smart
Is this a joke?
P.S. Fuck off hot facts girls!!!